I acknowledge that the attitude to feminism is different in every country. Thus, I am going to describe the situation of my home country Ukraine, that has always undervalued topics regarding feminism, its meaning and its recognition.
Before we are even born our parents are willing to find out the sex of the baby to prepare the room and all the necessary things. If it’s a girl everything has to be pink, if it’s a boy – blue.
When kids are 7 years old or younger our parents decide which hobby the kid must have. If it’s a girl – ballet, dancing or gymnastics, if it’s a boy – football, boxing or judo. Don’t get it messed up. Our society has already created stereotypes and rules for girls and boys. If the kid or his parent does not follow steps that are already in place people will start judging and eventually you will change your decisions. Hobbies are divided by gender. If you see a boy playing with a doll, you should urgently tell his parents and take away that evil toy, as it can be a sign of future homosexual tendencies that are not approved by Ukrainian society.
When I was 7, all the time I was willing to hang out with my older brother and my parents were okay with it, as they felt safer if their kids were together. Unfortunately, my brother was not okay with it. He was ashamed to go out with his friends and me and had always tried to avoid playing with me. When boys played football, they would make me play in goal, the most boring position. However, I was happy with it. When I was 8 I started putting his clothes on and all my female friends called me a tomboy. I was embarrassed; as a consequence I didn’t have many friends.
Girls from childhood are taught to clean and cook, sew and ironing. Nobody teaches these things to the boys. These are the basic needs of man, which everyone must be able to do in order to be able to independently exist. But since childhood, children are prepared that boys play, help their daddies to repair things whereas women should be a future housekeeper. If the boy likes to cook, there are those who say, that it’s not a man’s business.
Thus, since childhood it becomes clear that we are unreasonably labeled.
About relationships. If the girl had many relationships, a lot of experience with men, just because she didn’t have the luck to meet an appropriate man, she is labeled a whore or slut in society whereas men who had lots of relationships are an enviable lover who can be fun to hang out with.
Women cannot smoke or drink as they are future mothers and should pay attention to what they say, as they are also ladies. Whereas if man smokes it adds him some special charm, he looks more masculine.
Society has already decided that women should be mothers; women should take care of their families and their houses. Many women in my country work. When they come back home they are also supposed to prepare dinner and lunch for the next day, do chores, check kids’ homework, etc.
I did not realize that I was a feminist. I thought that my country compared to countries like Saudi Arabia is a much better place to live in. And it is true, we, women, have more freedom and I feel very lucky to have it. However, compared to other European countries we still need to fight stigma and labels that society has put on us.
I am 25 years old and every time I am in Ukraine people keep asking me if I got married, got a boyfriend and that I should hurry up with having kids. My close friends of the same age who stayed in Ukraine have already got families and kids. Those who don’t – desperately dream about it. This is the life of the woman in Ukraine – when you are 22, start thinking about your future family. We, the civilized people living in the 21st century, perceive a woman as an incubator.
I haven’t considered myself as a feminist… until now.
I still think that those obstacles that women face in my country are nothing compared to what women from other countries have to face every day. However, we have got lots of issues to work on and lots of people to persuade that feminism isn’t a way to reduce men’s rights, it fights for the equal rights of both sexes.